I remember meeting someone, years ago, who proudly stated that her husband had never once seen her without Mims Bat Removal perfectly intact. She was always showered, coiffed and beautifully dressed in his existence. When I asked if this wasn’t an exhausting way to live agreed that it was; getting up before he awoke everyday and anticipating his movements was a full-time preoccupation, but that was how she felt she ought to be. This was how their relationship worked.
I doubt if many of us, of either gender, would be prepared to live like that. It sounds stressful rather than real life. There will be certain things that we prefer to hide through a desire to keep some mystique or not become too vulnerable. We find the right ways to make our relationship work for us.
– It’s frequently the case that we have different personas for different regions of our lives. When we’re at work, with friends, family or at home we might find that we behave in rather different ways. Our partner might never see the side of us who gossips, complains, gets mad, as we may limit that behavior to arenas deemed more appropriate. Our genius in some areas of life may potentially be our curse in others; taking home the highly-organised, fastidious approach we get paid well for at work might cause mayhem if we try it with the family!
– The bathroom may be a no-go area for sharing in certain relationships. Whilst some people do not mind who breezes in on them whilst they are on the bathroom or in the tub, for others it is their personal time. Or they might wish for specific exercise routines or beauty treatments to be undertaken privately, perhaps out of embarrassment or from the simple desire to have a small personal space. We don’t need to reveal everything about ourselves in order for our relationship to work nicely.
– For some people having a excellent relationship means never arguing, whilst others adore having a struggle, clearing the air and making up afterwards. So as to progress though, disagreements and arguments need to be handled respectfully.
If one person goes quiet and won’t speak or shouts, hurls insults and refuses to listen it can be very detrimental to a relationship. Most adults can cope with opposing points of view; they try to understand and adapt why the person feels the way they do. Agreeing to disagree may be a suitable outcome, where both sides shake hands and acknowledge that they are unlikely to ever win the other over.
Adopting good listening skills, applying compassion and understanding enables a connection to evolve and move forward. Keeping channels of communication open is vital. Being eager to have regular conversations about real life stuff also matters, rather than internally sighing and turning away from the telephone or TV screen. If time is constrained in the week it might be good to set aside a little time before dinner or bed to have half an hour catch-up where you enjoy each other’s news and discuss your ideas and feelings. Invest in your relationship at weekends too and maybe think about a regular date night.
– Relaxed dressing may be a significant part of being in a excellent committed relationship. A lot of people love coming home from work and shifting into’something more comfortable’, even though they’re rarely referring to appealing, alluring attire – it’s usually more about tracksuits and sweatshirts. It’s great to be at ease with someone and be able to kick off your shoes, but it is important not to let standards slip too far.
Being relaxed is all well and good, but it’s also important to stay on top of personal hygiene by showering regularly and looking after your health and oral hygiene. Bear in mind this is the person you were so keen to impress. Look after your weight, health and appearance and continue to have a pride in yourself. When you take care of you and feel good about yourself everyone benefits.
We might look enviously at others with their ginormous diamond engagement rings and ideal lifestyles. Goodness knows how much those rings cost! But would you exchange the small diamond chip on your ring for something flashier? It’s travelled with you through the highs and lows of your connection and was likely bought when you were both starting you life together. When you look at your ring you can really see what that little stone reflects about your journey together, how far you have come. It’s your story that matters and the way that your relationship works well for you.